Still There
by SparklingSoul
Summary: "I said that we'd find away to cure her, and we locked her up in cuffs because we were afraid of her too." Before going back to 2017 to try and save Iris, Flash has a request for future Barry. He's given everyone else on Team Flash another chance, it's time one more person got that. Oneshot. Takes place during/after The Once and Future Flash (episode 3x19)


**A/N As much as I loved the scene where Barry sees what happened to future Caitlin/Killer Frost, it bothered me that they didn't really mention her after that when they got Team Flash together again. So I decided to make future Barry visit her himself...**

 **A/N 2: The first scene has the two Barrys, so I'll mostly refer to 2017 Barry as Flash, and 2024 one as Barry to prevent confusion. Enjoy!**

"It'll take a long time for things to go back to how they used to be, but it's a start," The Flash's future self, a much more broken version, stated solemnly but with an undertone of hope. There was some brightness to the future. His undying hope, brought back by this visiter from the past, was a familiar feeling, one he'd missed.

Flash smiled at the sight of his 2024 self and friends working together again. He was determined to save Iris from dying and prevent all this from happening, but he felt comforted by helping them in this time anyway.

Knowing tragedy first hand, Barry could never stand to see any of his friends suffering. He certainly wasn't going to leave while his friends were broken because of his own actions.

Speaking of which...

"Oh, hey! Can I talk to you? Really quick?" Flash flagged down his future double for a quick word. Something he had to tell him before he left.

"Yeah, sure. I wanted to talk to you too. Thank you I mean. For giving us a chance again ." Future Barry's pained eyes shone with a little brightness.

Flash gave him a quick nod and smile of 'you're welcome', brushing it off as usual. "Listen, about that. There's someone else who needs another chance too." He didn't need to specify any further, and nervously waited for a reaction.

The future speedster clenched his jaw and shifted his gaze. "You mean Caitlin."

"Yeah."

"No, I'm sorry," the older guy spoke firmly ," she's already gone. You know that-you spoke to her. Caitlin was replaced by Killer Frost. "

It seemed his mind was already made up.

The thought had crossed his mind oh so many times, only to conclude that it was pointless to even try. Flash had gone and seen her himself; he had to know that she was lost to them now.

Flash sighed, he'd expected this very reply. But he wouldn't be discouraged. He was determined to restore hope for Caitlin to Future Barry. He couldn't leave this timeline knowing she would be in that cell forever. Seeing her so far gone, so full of hatred and bitterness, was a sight he'd never forget.

"Listen ," he tried again, "I know it's not gonna be easy, and it appears to be a hopeless cause, but it's not impossible. Look at how far we've come already, the team is picking itself up and working together again. Just talk to her."

It was true, Barry never believed that he could repair the damage done to his life and relationships. He'd dreamed of it, but there was no reality in them. Until 2017 Flash showed up that is; he started to heal this broken life of his, and he couldn't be more grateful.

Thinking it over, despite how hopeless he still believed it to be, future Barry supposed this was the least he could do to repay what he had gained back. He owed this.

"Fine," he agreed reluctantly, and the younger version of himself broke into a grin.

"But only because of what you've done for me, not because I actually think it will work. Trust me, she's too far gone...but I'll talk to her."

A grateful smile spread across Flash's face. "That's all I could ask for."

️️️️️️️️️️️️️

 _Why am I even here?_

With Flash having gone back to the past- er present- and always being someone true to his word, Barry found himself about to enter the room that contained the cell of Killer Frost.

Well, _about to enter_ was an exaggeration. More like Barry just standing outside the door, hesitating. Even _hesitating_ was a bit much; he'd been in the same spot for fifteen minutes.

This was something he never thought he'd do. After killing Savitar, Barry simply slapped the power-dampening cuffs on Killer Frost's wrists, ignoring the way her ice cold eyes turned even colder (if that was possible) from what he'd just done. He still couldn't kill her, even with his brokenness from Iris' death, or the fact that she had worked along side the monster that killed the love of his life- that she had even _felt something_ when she saw said monster die the death he deserved.

No, Barry hadn't been able to kill her. He didn't believe Caitlin was still in there, that hope had died the same day Iris had, so that wasn't the reason. As it turned out, despite Barry no longer caring about pretty much anything, all those years he still carried the guilt that he did that to her. His friend was gone, and it was his fault.

Yet, here he stood, about to confront her once again.

Would she even want to talk to him? Would she just cuss him out? Remind him of what he'd done? What he'd lost? Had anything changed, or could it?

 _Only one way to find out._

Taking a deep breath, the speedster opened the door.

️️️️️️️️️️️️️

The sound of the door opening woke Killer Frost from a daze, blinking as light streamed from the entryway. She uninterestingly glanced at the doorway only to see that the silhouette which stood there was not Julian's. Slowly, Killer Frost sat up on her bed, awaiting the approach of her visiter.

The figure began to walk towards her cautiously. Reaching her cell, his identity was revealed.

She recognized the drooping shoulders of his tall frame and the long hair falling into his eyes from the last time they fought. But there was a hint of something new in his green eyes. They were still pained, yes, but somehow they didn't look haunted anymore.

A look of surprise crossed Killer Frost's face, but she quickly masked it with one of mild intrigue.

"Well, well, well," her voice echoed menacingly as always," here's a face I never thought I'd see again. Barry Allen, and not the one from the past." The cold voice had a thick layer of bitterness.

Barry didn't reply at first, choosing to take in the sight of what had once been his friend. Her porcelain skin was still framed by curls of silvery white hair, though they had grown much longer over the years. Silver eyes still pierced through the stunning makeup, ice cold as ever. It seemed the cold had frozen and preserved her beautiful features.

Despite how beautiful the creature before him was, all Barry could picture was a pair of laughing brown eyes behind the steely silver ones. A warm smile beyond the dark blue, frowning lips. Soft reddish brown waves under the icey white curls.

 _Look what you did to her._

Barry pushed the thought aside; Caitlin wasn't there anymore. He was talking to Killer Frost.

"Hello, Frost," Barry spoke up, unsure of his social skills after years of solitude," it's been awhile."

The ice queen immediately sneered. "Why are you here? There's a reason, isn't there? Wait, let me guess; Past Flash put you up to this."

"He asked me too, yes," Barry eyed her warily, speaking slowly," But I came on my own accord."

A roll of her eyes was his response. "Why waste your time? If you expect me to return to playing nurse for your little team, you're wrong."

The speedster shook his head, "I don't expect you too. That's not why I came here."

"Then what is?" Frost asked suspiciously. And somewhat curiously, not that she'd admit that.

"Flash...gave me back what I thought was lost forever. Patched up my relationships with Joe, Cisco, Julian...we're a team again. Team Flash. Starting, at least."

The chilly metahuman let out an amused laugh. "No you're not. You don't have them all," she said, the names Iris and Wally unspoken yet heard. "You don't even have the original team, not without Dr. Snow. She carried the whole team pretty much."

"Yeah, she did." The agreement hung in the air, surprising both of them.

Barry straightened his shoulders and shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans before continuing. "We would've been lost without her."

The villain was silent for a long moment as the words sunk in. Then a smirk played at her lips, "More like _dead_."

The remark was meant to be a prideful insult, but it came out almost playful.

Surprising himself, Barry chuckled and shook his head, "Yeah, that's true. I probably would've died after the first metahuman if she hadn't been there to patch me up. Or the countless times after."

Frost lowered her eyes to the floor, joining in Barry's soft laughter at the reminder of all the times Caitlin had saved his and the rest of Team Flash's lives. And for the briefest moment it almost felt like Barry and Caitlin, back in the Cortex, laughing over something stupid like they used to.

But those good memories brought up some bad ones along with them, and her expression soured after an instant. "If only you'd been there to patch _her_ up when _she_ needed it." The sinister touch to her voice had returned.

A sad look overcame Barry's face at that accusation. Statement, actually, not an accusation.

Guilt flooded his stomach yet again.

He slowly walked closer, sitting down with his back against the doorframe so that his side was touching the glass. Barry sighed, and Killer Frost eyed him uncertainly.

"Yeah, I know," the speedster started, eyes tightly closed, "I _wasn't_ there for her. And I've had to think about that for all these years. I was so focused on saving Iris that I failed to see Caitlin needed saving too."

The cold silver eyes softened ever so slightly at the confession.

"I let her be terrified of herself, of what she could become. Caitlin saw her powers as a curse and something she could "cure" and rid herself of, when all around her the rest of us were flaunting ours as gifts," Barry shook his head, as he verbally described how he'd treated her.

He looked up at Killer Frost, the source of his pain, his eyes dark with anger for himself. "I said that we'd find away to cure her, and _we locked her up in cuffs_ because we were afraid of her too."

The Caitlin who had fixed him up so kindly when he was injured had become caged up inside herself, alone and afraid. He'd let her do that, and he would never forgive himself.

The white-haired young woman had remained silent through his confession, absorbing it all and examining every word. Something inside her had longed to hear this apology.

Even after he had spoken, the room was still quiet for many minutes as each was lost in their own thoughts.

"Do you ever hear her anymore?" Barry broke the silence, his voice cracking as he questioned her.

Knowing exactly what he meant, Frost replied quietly, "Sometimes. She...fought me at first, begging me not to hurt you all, but eventually she grew silent. After she realized that _you_ hurt _her_. She had asked you for a cure, because she was afraid, and you said you would. Only you let her try to fix her problem by herself, terrified."

Barry's green eyes gazed at her sadly, hearing each word painfully because he knew they were true.

Killer Frost clenched her jaw. "You couldn't cure her, but Savitar did. He didn't encourage her to hide her powers and fear what they could turn her into. He told her to embrace who she really was, and Killer Frost remained."

Frost then chose that moment to slide down the glass and sit against it next to Barry. Keeping her gaze on the cell floor, she continued answering his question, "But yes...I still hear from her. Especially in times like right now." She swallowed, whispering the last part so that she was sure he didn't hear her.

"I know I could never say this enough, but...I'm really sorry I let this happen ," Barry's voice was sincere.

" _I'm sorry I did this to you. I should've saved you."_

 _"I'm glad you did this to me."_

 _"Caitlin wasn't. I failed her."_

His former friend met his eyes, "Why are you apologizing to me? I thought you believe Caitlin is gone?" Her question held an accusing tone.

Barry didn't answer, but got to his feet. "Flash gave me and the rest of the Team another chance, and I'll always owe him for that. He asked me to give you that same chance too."

Killer Frost slowly rose to her feet, silver orbs wide and eyebrows knitted.

Barry leaned forward against the glass with his hands and lowered his voice,"And that's what I'm gonna do."

The ice villain stared at him, perplexed. They wanted to have her back? To be able to trust her again? She hadn't thought that was possible herself, so why would the people she had betrayed think so?

 _Could_ she trust herself? Give herself another chance, the chance that was being offered to her?

Frost suddenly turned on her heel and returned to her bed in the corner. She couldn't do this right now. She was beginning to feel again, and it scared her.

It was better to feel nothing but cold.

...right?

Dropping his gaze and nodding, Barry slowly turned towards the exit. "Alright," his voice was tight as he walked away.

Hearing Barry take his leave, something made Killer Frost's gut clench, something about this visit, about _him_ , that she didn't want to be lost forever. Not again.

Quickly standing up, Frost called after him, "Allen! "

Surprised and curious, the speedster turned to her voice to find the smallest smirk-a playful and sincere one- tugging on the corners of her lips.

"You're not gonna leave me to talk to myself tomorrow, are you?" She teased, inviting him for more conversations in the future.

Barry smiled, "I wouldn't dream of it." Making his way out of the room, the smile remained. She might not have accepted the second chance, not yet, but talking to her had let him see something. He saw Caitlin Snow, beneath the icy tone, white hair, and silver eyes.

He had been wrong.

His friend was still there.


End file.
